Sad Day

I went for my 8w3d ultrasound today. Unfortunately our baby's heartbeat stopped sometime this last week. Hard to say when of course. There was barely any growth in the last week. The plan is to do a d&c on Monday and they will test the tissue to see if they can come up with an answer as to why this has happened.

I wish I was as resilient as Brianna is. She was in the room at the beginning of the ultrasound... the tech seemed to be having a hard time getting a good picture. I could tell something wasn't quite right. Plus I didn't see the little flickering of a heartbeat. I sent Brianna out to the waiting room as the tech went to get a different "probe". Course she came back with my Dr who tried again. When I had Brianna come in so I could tell her the baby had passed, I asked her how she felt about it. She just plainly said, "well it happens all the time". No tears, nothing. I wish I could respond that way.

I came home and rested for a couple of hours. I feel so empty now. David keeps saying well we still have hope, we have our 3 frozen embies. I can't even think about that right now. Granted I know I will transfer them... how could I not. But will I have hope? I don't know. I know I probably will have very little expectations. And after the 3 frozen embryo's... at this point I am willing to say that will be our last chance. I do not think I can put myself through another Fresh IVF cycle again. I guess time will tell.

Thank you to all my friends for all the wonderful comments I have received on FB and text message today. They really mean a lot to me and let me know that I have friends who truly care.