Catching up

Who would have thought I would ever create my own blog? Sure I read other people's blogs, especially with the journey we have been going through the last 3 years. But for me to actually start my own blog? I honestly never expected too, I'm not much of a writer. So as you read this, if I start to go off on tangents I will apologize now. I tend to ramble on at times as well.

It's been a long three years. Well when it comes to TTC (trying to conceive) that is. In reality the years have flown by. Yet when I think back on all the losses we have faced it feels like it has been a lot longer time period.

I guess it has been longer since my first pregnancy was way back in December 2006. As some people know that pregnancy didn't last much longer than a day (we found out I was miscarrying the day I got the positive test). At this time I wasn't married so I wasn't actively TTC. It was still devastating to both D and I as we had lots of hopes and even discussed names within the first 5 minutes. Oh the joys of being naive.

Skip ahead to February 1998 and a new relationship. C and I definitely weren't TTC. Had another chemical pregnancy (#2). Then April 10th 1998... my period didn't show up by afternoon like it normally did. I remember having been extremely tired lately as well. I just happened to test late that night. Bam... dark 2nd line on the test!! C really didn't believe it until I showed him an u/s (ultrasound) picture a week later (I had an early u/s done). Well needless to say I became a single mother at that point. I wouldn't change a thing though. I love my daughter (born 12/10/98).

Definition: chemical pregnancy - form of miscarriage. It is termed "chemical" because the only clinical evidence of pregnancy is a lab test, which indicates that that implantation occurred but only developed long enough to raise your circulating blood level of hCG. These are often early non-viable genetic "accidents."

For many many years I did not TTC. I was more concerned with raising my beautiful daughter at that point. In 2001 I ended up having my left ovary and tube removed due to a cystadenoma, It basically ate up my left ovary. (cystadenomas are known as neoplasms, meaning “new growths.” Ovarian neoplasms are new and abnormal formations that develop from the ovarian tissue. Cystadenomas are the most common type.)

Flash forward to January 2007 - D and I have found our way back to each other. We decided we wanted to try and have a baby together. I a test the morning of Feb 5 (14dpo). Low and behold there was a faint line (wow our first month trying!!). We thought ok we couldn't possibly have a miscarriage again could we (even though the first was a very long time ago!). I had to fly to VA that day for work... I was nervous but everything I read on line said it was safe. Arrived back home the night of the 8th... the next day Feb 9th, the spotting began. By the 10th it was over. M/C (miscarriage) #3. course we were never able to determine WHY.

April 2007 cycle - BFP (big fat positive) at 14dpo, 5/1/2007. A little more cautious this time. Didn't take just one test this time... Went to the Dr at 14dpo for a blood test. He had me start taking a progesterone supplement. My betas (the HCG blood test that detects the pregnancy hormone in your body) went up but they weren't great. The m/c started 11 days later. Still no reason WHY.

At this point there were several months where we were on a break due to gall bladder surgery and moving.

March 2008 cycle - BFP 13dpo - multiple beta's performed again. Once again, 11 days later the m/c began. Still NO KNOWN REASON!!

May 2008 cycle - BFP 11dpo this time!! Pin cushion time again and multiple beta's performed. Definitely were not rising normally. 13 days later m/c started. (getting really frustrated now).

June 2008 cycle - BFP 11dpo!! I decided to wait over a week before getting a beta this time. So at 20dpo I got my beta, it was 2,496!!! We were so hopeful but cautious at the same time. We had several ultrasounds... at 5 week we saw the sack in the uterus. 6 weeks we saw a heartbeat! 8w6d U/S heartbeat 177 BPM measuring 8w4d (19.6mm) but gestational sac is measuring 7w4d and I was Spotting. I just felt something was wrong. 9w4d: Went to ER due to some more bleeding... heartbeat is still 177bpm but still measuring 8w4d (no growth) 19.8mm. 9w6d (9/9/08) u/s No heartbeat (I cried just about all day) 9/10/08: D&C. We were able to test our baby to find out if there was a reason for this to happen. It came back the baby was a little girl (we named her Emily). She had 3 sets of Chromosomes (69xxx - Triploidy). The Dr said the most likely explanation is that 2 sperm happened to fertlize 1 egg. There was no way that Emily would have been able to survive to full term and live outside the womb.

We were instructed to wait several months before trying again.

April 2009 - BFP 13dpo! Using progesterone supplements. Beta's not increasing like they should. Decided on 6/10 to let nature take it's course, beta is only 642. 6/17/2009 went to the ER... stomach cramping/pains. Beta was up to 1645!! They thought they saw something on my ovary. they kept me in the hospital so they could do emergency laproscopic surgery since they believed it was an ectopic pregnancy! 6/19/09 - Beta 1891 - however during surgery they were not able to find the pregnancy!! 6/22/09 - Beta 2544. 6/24/09 - ultrasound, they believe it's a Cornual Ectopic pregnancy! 6/25/09 - Methotrexate shot (this dissolves the pregnancy - it is a Chemo drug). 6/29/09 - Beta 4106 ( it normally goes up first before it goes down) 7/2/09 - Beta 2559 and the beta continued to decrease.

Sep 2009 - 12dpo BFP Miscarriage started 14 days later... another chemical.

Nov 2009 - First ever BFP for me at 8dpo - I was so positive this was a good thing. (Can you tell it's not going to be?) Miscarriage started 12 days later (yup another chemical)

Dec 2009 - Ok this cycle we were supposed to be on a break (supposed to huh?!)... So yes we used protection (condoms). Well believe it or not, on 16dpo since my period was late I tested. Yup you guessed it... 2 lines! However within 2 days the lines were gone. another chemical.

Whew! Ok we are now up to date. That was definitely the abridged version of everything that happened. It is now the year 2010. David has a good job right now (he is a contractor and gets really good benefits). We found out that his insurance was going to have IVF coverage so we put me on with him. We figured this is our last year TTC!! If we aren't successful this year than we are done trying.

This is the beginning of our IVF journey.

1/22 - We had our IVF screening appointment. Basically a blood draw to test for certain diseases. Also had a talk with the Dr regarding the whole process. We decided since PGD (pre-implantation genetic diagnosis) is actually covered under this insurance (very rare, trust me) that we would go that route. Now here is where I was surprised. In all the research I have done, most PGD testing is done on day 3 (they take a single cell out of the embryo to test for chromosomal abnormalities. The embryo's typically have 4-8 cells at this point) and then the test results are returned by day 5 and the embryo is transferred back. Well I found out that in our case we are going to do a screening. They are going to wait to biopsy the embryo until Day 5. At this time there is 100+ cells. The cells they take usually are from the placenta so there would be no damage to the embryo itself. Unfortunately they send their results to Georgia so there is no way to get the results back that day. They then have to freeze my embryo's. We would then wait till the next month and do a FET (Frozen embryo transfer). It is supposedly a much easier process than the fresh transfer cycle. I had to think twice about this. I still think the testing is the best way for us to go though. Ok see, I'm rambling a bit again.

I have already started Birth control pills in order to start the IVF Cycle. (started 1/16/2010) Why birth control pills you ask? It is supposed to help keep your ovaries quiet before starting the stimulation process. You don't want cysts on your ovaries!

1/30/2010 - First day of Lupron (also helps keep the body from ovulating).... this medication is a Self - Injection!! Yup I start giving myself shots! (Never thought I would see the day!). Believe it or not, the injection wasn't bad. It's a small needle, only an insulin needle.

Today is 2/9/10 - I have been injecting myself for 11 days. I stopped the BCP (birth control pills) on Feb 5th (thank goodness!). The paper work says I could start my period 3-4 days after stopping BCP.. so far nothing yet (course do I really mind? Of course not, hopefully AF (aunt flo) will stay gone until December!) Why December? Because if we do the FET in March after testing the embryo's that should give me a December due date.

Tomorrow is my suppression check. They have to make sure I am "suppressed" so I can start taking my stimulating medicines (more injections!!). So at 830am I go in for an ultrasound and a Estradiol blood draw (testing my estrogen numbers). David has to come with because we also get to sign all of our consent forms.


Ok I'm sure you are overwhelmed at this point! This was a lot of information!! I'll make sure to update tomorrow sometime when I get all the results back! If you stuck with me through out this catch up entry, thank you.